I hate fitted sheets. I don’t understand them.

I have owned a 10 bedroom hotel and have made a billion beds in my life and I just can’t do them. Who designed them and why do we buy them?

They are impossible to fold, horrible to dry, tricky to iron, don’t store neatly and a nightmare to get on the bed.   They shrink and take all your muscles to get over the edges of the bed and break fingernails in the process.

Do they save a moment? No. Do they look any better? No.  They take away from the joy of clean sheets.

Making a bed with a flat sheet is so much easier. I do hospital corners – have you ever heard of them? You don’t need to – just tuck it in.

Don’t buy sheet sets – they contain one flat and one fitted. You don’t need to.

My favourite sheets come from ‘ecodownunder’. This is a eco friendly chain started nearly 20 years ago.  They are called eco cotton flats. 500 thread count sheets which wash well, iron well, fold well and are brilliantly priced at $50 for a queen flat. They only come in white but is there any other colour for sheets? Having white flats takes away all the hassle of matching sheets, they can be bleached with Napisan and always look and feel great. If you want colour, go for a coloured doona cover or pillows.

As soon as you buy sheets, mark them, K, Q or S on the label, or in the bottom corner with a permanent or laundry marker.

That’s going to make life a whole lot easier.